Love is Love
Celebrating Pride 2023
It was a Saturday morning, in which I typically spend the time creating hand-tied bunches for the farmstand, however, something called me to my laptop to work on administrative tasks. Unknowingly, this led me to the most enchanting encounter which I would have never expected.
An email came into my inbox. It’s not uncommon to get inquires from my website for everything from special orders, to employment, to obvious point and spray type of marketing emails that are going to ‘improve my business with the solution they are offering’ (seriously, the amount of obviously scrape and spray techniques is remarkable).
This email was different. Jess’s inquiry was sincere. She had a simple request. She was about to propose to her partner, and wanted to recreate a childhood memory that was deeply cherished. Reading the request, I wasn’t aware of the entirety of it, but something about it made my heart skip a beat, and took my breath away. Of course, I replied immediately, upon which she replied noting she would call me when her partner was away for the morning. The anticipation built, as I wondered how I could serve this couple. Anxious I felt both excitement and and yearning, unsure why I was so eager to participate, but compelled to uncover it all.
Finally, Jess replied, and a brief conversation later, I knew I had to create for this exceptional couple. First of all, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE me a good surprise!!!! Second of all, there was something about my conversation with her. The was a tenderness about the way she wanted to approach the experience. The love and adoration she felt for her partner was piercing and proliferating. I felt the calling of making this experience a dream for the two of them, and wanted nothing more than to be able to enhance their moment through the story of flowers.
A bit of a backstory on Jess and Jill. The two met in the most complicated of circumstances. Quiet literally down to the fact that they were within geographical location of each other.
Right before the pandemic, Jess and Jill had each come their own conscious realization that something was amiss in their romantic relationships. For Jess, it was a story of a member of the queer community who had come to the awareness that she was queer, even though she had a husband and children. As Jess read through the story, Jess came to her own recognition… it was time to come to terms with the fact that she was queer, and one thing was for certain; she DID NOT want to spend time trying to pretend any longer. Jess had previously been in a relationship with an individual who identified as male. Jess admitted that it was the ‘most ideal male relationship’ she could have. Coming from a conservative background, Jess was taught that a marriage was between a male and a female, and any deviation from that fact was intolerable. As Jess started to explore her own self, she came to the decision that it was time to finally allow herself to be who she truly is. Naturally, this was an extremely difficult, and painful (still is) discussion with her conservative family. Jess was faced with the possibility of losing connection to her family, during a time that is extremely difficult already (a friggin’ pandemic). Her decision to move forward in her path to authenticity was possibly one of the most brave, and freeing actions she could have taken. Armed with the genuine sense of self, and readiness to honor her needs, she came out to her family, prepared to honor her soul, with the possibility of losing her familial relationships.
For Jill, it wasn’t too different. Also, coming from a conservative background, Jill struggled with her identity in the queer community. With the onset of the pandemic, she too decided to make the brave leap into declaring her natural, authentic self, braving backlash from family and friends. Luckily for Jill, she had an incredible friend who greeted this news with complete openness, love and support - even offering to take her to the one and only gay bar in her small conservative town. Feeling isolated and alone upon her realization, she came to know she had the support of not only friends, but was introduced to the open door of the queer community.
So how did two raw, freshly minted souls come to be partners? The story could not be more serendipitous than a simple orchestration of the stars, allowing these two to cross paths at just the right time. Both had recently registered for the app Bumble, the more refined and respected app at the time to meet potential partners. In this safe space, users are required to be within a certain geo location of each other, and the service only allows for potential connection initiated from the identifying female first. Luckily for Jess and Jill, identifying as female, gave them the slight advantage for this experience.
Jill happened to be using the app while Jess was in the area. Jess had gotten off work early, and stopped at a gas station that was JUST with the radius for the app. Swiping through, Jill was stopped in her track by Jess’s profile. Furthermore, Jess had a conversation initiation in her bio asking potential interested matches to ‘talk to her about her favorite icon, Brene Brown’. Having a deep love and respect for all things Brene, Jill shot over a message noting how her friends were “so tired of hearing about ‘the stories we tell ourselves’” and little did she know these were the words that would seal her romantic fate, causing Jess to stop in her tracks to pursue the potential of this relationship.
THE gas station that started it all…….
Several video calls later (it was still the height of the pandemic after all), and even a significant news bomb of Jess moving away for her job, these two love birds came together to form an incredible partnership.
I spend a lot of time with couples, and as I watched them graciously sit down with me to share their story, I saw the way they looked at each other. There was deep compassion, support, and adoration, which was a complete honor to witness.
So how did it all go down?????
As requested, I made the hand-tied bouquet and door garland Jess wanted. Her father would often send the gift of love through flowers and musicians to her mother, and Jess wanted to provide the same for Jill. A nod to her Mexican heritage, I incorporated bright and vivid textures and color, and then it was a matter of trying to keep the surprise ‘a surprise’.
Jess hired a musician, who happened to be also be an artist that they both loved. We all arrived ready to provide the magical moment of witnessing pure love and devotion as Jess asked Jill to be her life partner through marriage.
Given that is was a surprise, we all waited in anticipation in an effort to allow the magic to unfold. We waited with bated breath as Jess kept Jill inside, finally gaving her a letter, asking her to come outside. The result was the exact magic we had hoped for.
The love, the connection, and the true partnership were present, and it was an experience I’ve never had before.
I am so excited for these two, as they begin their path in this new chapter, and I could not have been more honored to have been a part of it.
In honor of Pride Month, I’ve asked Jess and Jill to provide some words around the ways in which we can continue to support the Queer Community. They graciously offered, and shared some insights:
Whether you are seeking to understand a recent interaction with a Queer Community member, an ally, or an advocate; being brave enough to ask, a willingness to be uncomfortable, and a willingness to listen to the story of the member, you are well on your way to helping and moving swiftly into allying and support.
By recognizing Pride Month, you are honoring visibility, validation and the feeling of safety. Simple steps such as asking for pronouns creates a safe space, but taking it a step further, displaying a rainbow flag, or other rainbow emblem, allows the Queer Community to know they are welcome and safe. If available in your area, join or support a DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) organization. And in the meantime, support of the community can be offered by reading and following the Human Rights Council, as well as supporting The Trevor Project.
In a complicated world of humans who just want to live their lives, consider how you support those who are fighting for equality, and make your voice heard by declaring “Love is Love”.
